Today I felt as though she was able to assert her identity and even invited me to but I somehow couldn't; if my identity is revealed only when I'm alone or at best with one person I am close to - is that considered an identity? In the first place, why do we have to let others know "this is who I am"?

I live in my own world, a safe place where I can be whoever I want to be, go wherever my emotions take me. I can be volatile, free. Away from this world where a 'fluctuating personality' means "you are not yourself", for people like familiarity. Can this volatility be me? and if that is the case, there is no single person who will fully understand who I am - for they might have only seen a spot on the spectrum.

I can say this now, but I was so disturbed about not being able to 'let my personality show', the 'favourite part' of my personality. Interaction with people is tiring, we sometimes feel like putting forth our ideals to clearly state "this is me". Whatever for? I'm asking, whatever for, but at the same time, still finding a desire in asserting my identity.

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On a side note, I realised: I'd rather connect with someone vulnerable. My instincts draw me to complexity like a moth to a flame. Complex people. To observe, to learn from, or to connect with.
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